PANDEMIC DIARY
LIKE FATHER; LIKE SON
January 7, 2021
“Daddy, daddy, come here”
“What is it, Donnie. Is everything OK”
“Look, daddy” (Donnie points to the toilet, while daddy looks inside)
“Donnie, that’s marvelous. You should be so proud of yourself. Is that all yours”? (Donnie nods) Well, remember that. No one else can create what you create. When it comes out well, let the world know about it. And, when it doesn’t come out so well, flush the toilet and get rid of it so no one sees it. Do you understand me, Donald?”
“Oh, yes daddy. Did I do good daddy”
“You did better than good. That is the greatest poop I have ever seen. Everything you do is the greatest, Donny. Don’t ever forget that”
“OK, daddy. I won’t.” (Donnie shows some doubt)
(seeing the doubt on Donnie’s face)
“What’s wrong, son”
“Well, daddy…it’s just shit”
“Ahh. I see. You think that your shit is just like everyone else’s”
“I just thought…”
“Stop right there, son. Your shit is like no one else’s in the whole wide world. And, you will realize that when you get a little older. You will be one of just a few men who the world will come to know as the greatest “shitters” that ever lived. You are a Trump. And, Trump shit don’t smell”
“Smells to me, daddy”
“But, that’s the sweet smell of greatness. Smell it again. But, this time smell it and say to yourself, “There can be nothing less than the best coming out of me. That it starts with a little shit and gets shittier over time. Now, smell it again, Donnie”
“It smells different, daddy”
“Of course it does, Donnie. And, one day you will take a shit on the whole world. People will know you far and wide. They will say, ‘Here comes that shit, now”. Many people will want to be a part of your shit. You will let them. But, if your shit starts to smell to them, just get rid of them. Curse them. Blame them. Then, without warning or hesitation, look them in the eye and tell them in no uncertain terms, “YOU’RE FIRED!” The rest of those followers can be allowed to hang on and tag along so later when you get in trouble for shit you’ve done, you will always have someone on hand to blame for that shit.”
(Donnie face begins to cringe in pain)
“What’s wrong, son. Do you not believe in what I am telling you?
“That’s not it, daddy.”
“Then, what is it Don?”
“I have to make more poop, daddy. And, this time it will be even greater than the last.”
“That’s my boy! I’ll stand right here by your side. Like father…like son.”
“No, daddy. I can make this shit up all by myself. No one can shit things up like me, daddy. I think people from every country will know me as the greatest shithead ever. Daddy?”
“Yes, Donnie”
“I want to shit up the world”.
“You will, Donnie. You most certainly will.”
