PANDEMIC DIARY

A “MOO”-T POINT
February 24, 2021

On January 6, Prime Minister Narendra Modi of India, revealed that candidates for a challenging university entry exam would have to read a 54-page booklet, learn and memorize all the facts and figures related to the various properties of India’s cows, know as “gaumata”. Properties such as: emotions, intelligence, wisdom, usefulness and physical features. Intended to venerate their national species of bovines, Prime Minister Modi went on to compare his country’s cows to New Jersey Gurnsey cows which he called” dirty, lazy and emotionless creatures who sit idly all day and are prone to diseases because they’re unhygienic.” He also made public statements like:

“Whenever any unknown person comes near desi cow, she will immediately stand,” the booklet said. “The jersey cow, however, displays no emotions.” 

“Indian cows maintain hygiene, [are] hardy and clever enough not to sit at dirty places,”

“Jersey cows are known to be very lazy and highly prone to diseases. It has also been seen that they attract infection by not being hygienic enough.”

Members of Modi’s cabinet and government took exception to these childish and empty-headed assertions. They accused Modi of misappropriating the cow, held in esteem as a religious icon, for political purposes.

I thought this subject perfect fodder for the limerick:

How sacred was Lord Krishna’s cow
On knees to bovine did he bow
On the highest placed rung
Revered even their dung
Which is why they were never his chow.

Prime Minister Modi, of India
Who’s religion is thoroughly Hindia
Declared “our cow’s smarter”
Venerated their farta
Then himself let loose with some windia.