Pill Packin' and Poppin' — Roaming with Roth

“Your luggage can be picked up in Liberia, Costa Rica”, the attendant at the American Airlines terminal said, as we placed our baggage on the scale. We weighed our suitcases topping off at 44.8 pounds, an improvement over the 49.4 lbs. we started with. Still, we were not done paring since we had to get under 44 lbs. as determined by the least amount of allowable weight on any one of our scheduled airlines. And, since we are flying several 'small plane' internal flights within Southeast Asia, where the weight requirements are lower than U.S. airlines, the weakest link was at 20 kilos.

We decided that instead of 'stuffing' our luggage like a Thanksgiving turkey to reduce our 'carry-on' load, we could take larger satchel-like totes on board with us and transfer to them some of the heavier items. And, the obvious choice were the large zip-lock packs of pills. Adele and I are on a regimen that most would find daunting, if not downright absurd - morning pills to be taken on an empty stomach, taken with breakfast, taken in the evening or right before bed. Adele is meticulous. Clearly. Her beauty and health are testimony to her regularity...of discipline. For myself, I am becoming more diligent relenting to a pill popping schedule which has eluded me in the past.

The good news is that the bulk of our vitamins are now custom compounded into a single pill of a size usually administered to an ailing racehorse. Taking this pill requires preparation. I position the pill in the back of my tongue, take a swig of water, breath deeply through my nose, tilt my head slightly back, and attempt to swallow the pill without choking. I figure that in case I do choke to death, I will be the healithiest corpse the funeral home has ever seen. But, that is just one pill.

The bad news is that when you are traveling for a year you take with you 365 units of each pill. I take 11 pills every morning. You do the math. After sorting the pills by daily 'doses' laying the out in rows on the carpeted floor (see photo), we pack them into tiny zip-lock baggies, snap them shut, stick the packets into a gallon sized zip-lock bag, and flatten the whole for packing. I am sure, someone is making a killing in the market from our expenditure.

Then, there is the problem of explaining this 'contraband' to local constabulary. True story: About three years ago, I was returning to RDU on a direct flight from London. Passing through UK security, I was asked, "Is this your luggage?".
"Yes".
"Would you please 'step to the side'? We're going to check your bag".
I stood aside, with disinterest, knowing I was 'innocent' of whatever. A security personnel finally opened my bag, rummaging through it, lifting and unsorting, and finally found what he was looking for - my zip-lock bag of "drugs" - prescription drugs, vitamins and an array of nutrasceuticals (non-prescription supplements). He took one of the small packets and with gloved hands removed a single pill. Thinking he would dislodge me,
"What's this for", he inquired.
Leaning in as if to share a secret or maybe demonstrate modest discretion, I half whispered, "It helps me pee." He took a moment, replaced the pill in the packet, and snapped it closed.
"You can go. Have a nice day."

Adele and I have just made a critical decision. We took with us half the number of daily doses thinking that we would re-order and have shipped to us the balance for the remainder of the year. However, we decided that if we took our packet of morning delights every other day, we would be none the less for wear and not have to deal with reorders and all that sorting later on in the trip. That decision has made me feel better already.

Laying the rows of pills on our family room carpet made an interesting design...